I have always been a high achiever. A constant producer. Someone who gets things done. After being a woman who prided herself in her accomplishments for so long, you can imagine that being literally unable to produce offspring was quite the blow to my ego.
Yet because God is kind, He gave me a vision of sorts. It was as if I was standing in a room with three statements painted on the walls, statements I had let become my crippling identity. The first statement was, “I cannot have kids.” It was as if Jesus was standing right there behind me. His presence was so near, and I could sense Him agreeing. We took a few steps to the right and came across the next sentence: “I do not have eggs.” I got the impression He was nodding at that sentence too, confirming its validity. Then we came to the third sentence: “I cannot produce offspring.” That’s when I heard His voice, not an audible voice, but a voice nonetheless. He said, “This is not true. I AM the producer of offspring. Not you.”
That’s when it hit me, plain as day. Every child who enters this earth is born because God wants them here, and every mother who bears a child does so because God chose her to be the vessel for that child’s entrance. Mothers nurture life, but they do not make it. Mothers cultivate life, but they did not create it. Instead, mothers have the privilege of bearing the life that God has made. They have the responsibility to nurture that life toward their greatest purpose: to glorify God and enjoy Him forever. But they do not get the credit for causing that life. All of that belongs to God.
It was a moment of clarity and relief for me. I could no longer be confused about who was the one doing the accomplishing here. Every single child that is born into this world is God’s accomplishment. God knits every baby together in their mother’s womb. Mothers do not cause the growth of their child in the womb (a fact that has tortured many of my friends)! Then when the baby is born, they enter the world without their mother having any idea what they will be like, and with God already knowing everything about them.
So all women, even fertile women, are not the producers of offspring. Women are the beautiful means by which God ushers His creations into the world. They are the loving arms that console. They are the strong hands that comfort. They are the wise voices that counsel. They are the ones who lay down their lives for their kids.
But all kids are God’s kids first. And that means us. You and I are God’s kids first. When we stand before God when we die, our mothers will not be with us. Only our heavenly Father will be there saying, “I knew you before the beginning of time. I knew the number of your days. I knew the number of hairs on your head. I have taken care of you just as I have cared for the sparrows in the air and the lilies of the field. You are my child, and I love you.”
Some of us will become mothers in this lifetime. But even when that happens, our goal is not to become the ideal parent, striving constantly to achieve and produce in the realm of motherhood. Our aim is to do our best and keep pointing our kids to their primary Parent, their original Father, the One who is far slower to anger and more abundant in love than we will ever be. He is the most worthy Parent. Revelation 4:11 reminds us, “Worthy are you, our Lord and God, to receive glory and honor and power, for you created all things, and by your will they existed and were created.”